There’s nothing more exciting than entrepreneur dreams, and nothing more disappointing than to see your success killed by lack of experience or knowledge of what it takes to succeed. I have had my hand in some sort of business for the last 35 years! I have owned a cottage industry which turned into a brick and mortar bakery, worked the Farmer’s Market circuit off and on for 30 years. I’ve started multiple websites, Youtubed, Ebayed, and Etsy’d. I’ve been around the block. I have picked up on a few things and learned what works and what doesn’t. I am sharing personal experience here, not just some random facts I’ve scavenged off of the internet.
The information shared in this blog post is valuable and worth remembering. Whether you are a home executive or an aspiring business owner, you will have a better shot at success if you apply these methods to your arsenal.
Why re-invent the wheel when you have a window of opportunity to learn from others who have already gained the experience needed to establish a path of success! They have had the pitfalls and stumbled through the mine field of mistakes. Pay attention and save yourself years of making the mistakes and learning the hard way when we live in the information age and knowledge is literally at your fingertips!
No Focus or Clearly Defined Goals
We all want to succeed at something in life. How can you become successful if you have no focus or clearly defined goals? What, where, when, and how are questions we must ask ourselves.
What is it you want to succeed at? If you haven’t contemplated and investigated the requirements of what you want, you have no foundation to build on. This isn’t something you can just do on a wing and a prayer.
No construction crew starts a building without an architectural plan or building permits. They don’t just dig a hole and pour concrete then start throwing boards up. Before the project is started, they know every detail of the construction process from site preparation, clearing the ground, grading the land, compacting the soil and so forth. They have a thorough understanding of the cost of concrete, steel girders, sheet metal, lumber, and every other material needed during construction.
There are contractors, sub-contractors, hourly laborers, city officials, bankers, lawyers and a host of other professionals involved with the process. They have focused and clearly defined goals and deadlines that will be implemented throughout the process. They have contingency plans in place for unforeseen obstacles.
If your aim is to be successful, you must exercise due diligence. Do the research. Know what you want, where you are going and what you must do to accomplish your goal.
You will waste years of valuable time and suffer mountains of grief if you go half shod on your way to success. My father in law always said, “Measure twice and cut once.”
How many times are you willing to start over because of a poorly planned path to success or change your mind because you ran up against a wall you weren’t expecting?
If you are already in the journey, you must take a pause and re-evaluate. Clearly define your focus and goals. Count the cost. Make the plan then work the plan. Prepare for the inevitable delays, detours, and pitfalls. Make contingency plans and seek advice from those who have experience with what you are attempting to do.
Education and Skills
With the exception of those who know exactly what you are doing, you need to be willing to educate yourself. As intelligent as you may be, those who succeed are constantly seeking knowledge to keep their minds sharp and stay ahead of the competition.
If you don’t have previous experience about your endeavor, you will need to arm yourself with all the knowledge you can get. Read books, research, take some classes.
There is an abundance of free resources or reasonably priced courses on sites like ED-X, Udemy, Kajabi, and Teachable, just to name a few. Ed-X offers courses you can take for free. You will not be graded or receive a certificate without paid enrollment but look at what is offered and take advantage of educational content that will help you achieve your objectives free of charge!
You need to be willing to invest in yourself to give the greatest chance possible to succeed.
Warning! Beware of guru’s offering courses on YouTube! I promise you, there are people on YouTube who don’t lose a wink of sleep as they take your money. Beware of courses revealing a proven method of making $10,000 a month in 90 days. “The Way to Become a Millionaire is Right Under Your Nose!” You may take the course only to find constant upsells, or find the need to purchase innumerable tools through their associate links while building your platform for success promoting their products.
Learn new skills by doing! You can start an internet business for less than $100 a year. WordPress.org is a site that offers free websites. You will need a domain name $12, a hosting package as low as $2.95 a month, and the grit to grind it out as you learn new skills by doing the work.
If you aren’t building an internet business, you still need to learn as much as possible to equip yourself and have a clear understanding of the path ahead.
Success doesn’t fall out of the sky. It comes through the application of knowledge, skill, stubbornness, and consistent application of a plan. Be resilient, flexible, and determined. Be kind to yourself and believe in what you are doing, which brings us to the next stumbling block.
Self-defeating Psychology
Self-defeating thoughts are powerful subconscious beliefs about our self-worth. We subconsciously believe we are not good enough or worthy of or deserving enough to be happy, causing us to lose our determination to move forward toward our goals.
Self-defeating psychology is manifested as repetitive actions by an individual that invite failure or misfortune and thus prevent them from attaining goals or fulfilling desires.
Three areas affected most often by self-sabotage include romantic relationships, career, and overall physical and emotional well-being.
Metta Psychology Group, on online platform that offers resources and counseling says,
“Theories suggest that self-defeating behaviors are a kind of defense mechanism, fooling people into thinking that they are coping with stress, pressure, social demands, etc., while others suggest that self-defeating behaviors help a person to stay within their comfort zone” https://www.mettapsych.com/
I was raised in a physically, and emotionally abusive home. I was constantly being told there was something wrong with me. I was a stupid moron. I struggled through life setting unrealistic goals and looking to outside sources for validation. I was 32 years old before I began to believe in myself. I was worthy, intelligent, resourceful, and creative.
I found that God says in the Bible that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and of more value than all the world’s combined wealth. I chose to believe in God and in myself. I have overcome self-defeating behavior and am now on a course to help others with valuable insight.
We may rationalize thoughts like:
- I’ll never get that job so there’s no use to apply.
- I was foolish to think they would choose me. Now I am humiliated and everyone knows I am a loser.
- If people get to know me they won’t really like me.
- I’m dumb. I shouldn’t have been born and the world would be a better place without me.
- I’m not smart enough to succeed so I might as well give up.
I know I have thought each of these at one time or another. We find it easier to live in defeat because there’s too much risk in pressing toward unfamiliar territory.
Success demands that we leave our comfort zone and do the hard thing! Pressing forward is full of the possibility of failure only to reaffirm our subconscious beliefs.
Success requires a new mindset which liberates us from negative self-talk. Learning how to appreciate who you are and what you are capable of requires overcoming your negative beliefs.
You are the only one who can decide if past traumas and failures will define your future. You have the opportunity to build a better future for yourself and those you love.
I found freedom when I surrendered all my past mistakes and dysfunctions to God. I chose to believe the Bible and became a new person. The old guilt ridden, drug using, abused, thieving, lying person I was went to a watery grave of baptism and I took on the wonderful name of Jesus.
I began to heal and my perceptions changed about everything. I was transformed by the power of God’s word as I lived a different life.
You may not want to take that course and that’s your right. I am just telling you what changed everything about my life.
The method you choose to change self-defeating psychology is a personal choice. There are many avenues to go down.
What can you do if you feel as though you are engaging in self-destructive behaviors?
- Start by identifying the behaviors in your life that you feel are getting in the way of reaching your goals. Insight is an integral part of changing your behavior.
- Get real. Find ways to stop minimizing these unhealthy behaviors and rationalizing their presence. Examine how a behavior really impacts your life.
- Don’t get down on yourself. Being overly critical of yourself or thinking that you are “weak” creates a worse self-concept, often leading lower self-esteem and confidence.
- Make it harder to act impulsively. Do you find that you over eat when you are stressed? Keep foods that you tend to binge on out of the house. Do you overspend when you are sad? Only withdraw enough cash for your weekly expenses and make access to your debit/credit cards more difficult.
- Practice mindfulness. Focusing on the present can help you to more readily identify your emotions and the behaviors that are getting in the way of your goals.
- Start to self-reflect. Journaling or keeping a daily log of healthy habits can be a great way to build positive patterns of behavior.
- Seek professional help. Meeting with a counselor or psychologist can be an important part of reducing unhealthy behaviors. A psychologist can help you to identify triggers that lead to your self-defeating behaviors and provide tools to help you replace them with healthier options.
The information above was copied from:
Lack of Motivation
There are different perspectives on motivation. Betterhelp.com has some interesting insight on the topic of motivation.
“The American Psychological Association defines motivation as “the impetus that gives purpose or direction to behavior and operates in humans at a conscious or unconscious level.” Motivation is often the driving force behind our actions and decisions, and it can have a significant impact on our lives when we learn to channel it effectively.”
“Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, by Daniel H. Pink, has a compelling view of two types of motivation. Extrinsic and intrinsic motivation are based on opposite ideals.
Extrinsic motivation is powered by the desire to be rewarded with material things and prestige whereas intrinsic motivation is powered by the desire to be independent, to excel in your endeavors and to contribute to something bigger than yourself.
I tend to feel intrinsic motivation is by far the most powerful incentive to overcome stagnation and discouragement. Of course I want to have wealth and financial freedom to enjoy life, but my ulterior motivation is to have the financial freedom to contribute to the causes I believe in. I want to be an anonymous philanthropist.
Whatever motivates us must be so powerful that it will supersede our propensity to quit when the going gets rough.
What will you do when you find you have run out of motivation? Will you look for ways to re-ignite the purpose you initially began with?
- You must set clear, measurable, and achievable goals.
- Believe in yourself and what you are going to achieve.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Celebrate when you have met a goal.
- Track your progress and learn from failures.
- Visualize your outcome. What does success look like for you?
- Look for motivational resources to inspire and encourage your journey.
- Keep learning and apply that knowledge to become better.
Self-Discipline
Without overstating the obvious, if you have no self-discipline, you have a rough road ahead of you. You will face challenges that require a great amount of discipline to power through. If you are not willing to put your head down and push when you are exhausted and overwhelmed, you will be wasting your time.
Success means not quitting! The only difference between success and failure is having the tenacity to learn what doesn’t work from the last time you failed and apply that knowledge to your next attempt.
You must not let your failures define you. You cannot afford to wallow in defeat or succumb to setbacks. The path for every successful person is one that has been littered with defeat and failure but through resilience, perseverance, and commitment they achieved their goal.
Tips for developing self-discipline:
- Develop clear goals and prioritize them.
- Stick to your goals.
- Create and follow a structured routine.
- Be accountable to someone for your actions.
- Don’t take the easy way out at the expense of progress.
- Follow through with the objective until you succeed.
- Don’t put yourself in a tempting situation or proximity of weakness.
- Learn to love yourself despite your weaknesses.
- Forgive yourself for not being perfect and try again.
- Learn from your mistakes and change your perspective.
- Don’t give up because something is not easy.
- Learn to regulate your emotions.
Becoming Overwhelmed
Successful people become proficient at overcoming challenges but there are times when even the most disciplined, goal oriented and focused individual feels overwhelmed with responsibilities or daunting tasks ahead.
Being overwhelmed simply means being buried or drowned beneath a huge mass, being overcome as with emotions or perceptual stimuli. If you have physically pushed hard enough for a long period of time, you will be overwhelmed with weakness.
Being overwhelmed may encompass emotional, cognitive and physical symptoms such as difficulty focusing or concentrating, feeling fatigued, experiencing headaches or stomach pain and dis-interest in the things you once enjoyed.
You may feel overwhelmed with the sheer amount of effort it takes to become successful.
Steps you can take to prevent or alleviate the sense of being overwhelmed:
- Set boundaries for yourself.
- Take a break away from work to relax and enjoy life.
- Develop the art of delegation.
- Practice self-awareness and understand your limits.
- Prioritize and simplify your tasks.
- Use effective time management.
- Give yourself some slack. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Slow down and take it one step at a time.
- Have a mentor or someone you trust as a confidant, who can lend an understanding ear.
Procrastination
Procrastination is choosing to put off a task until a later time. Procrastinators chooses short term benefits over long term goals or avoid a task all together because it seems difficult, overwhelming, or they simply lack discipline.
Procrastinators circumvent their own success while subconsciously protecting themselves from perceived failure, criticism and self-condemnation. They are effectively undermining progress and cheating themselves out of the rewards that come with a completed task.
Those who are most likely to procrastinate have a tendency to act on their immediate feelings rather than face the pain of doing something they don’t want to do. As harsh as it may sound, procrastination is undisciplined, lazy and just a little bit self-centered.
There are consequences for procrastination which may affect your personal life, work and even your health.
Your home may fall down around you because you keep putting off needed repairs or your stress may go through the roof because you’ve procrastinated with making and keeping a budget and your utilities get shut off. The dishes stack in the sink and you are digging through the laundry looking for the cleanest dirty shirt!
You may face reprimands at work because you have consistently put off tasks or missed deadlines for important projects, or you show up late on a regular basis because you hit the snooze button multiple times.
You procrastinate over your intent to start living a healthier life. You feel stressed, stuck, and are anxious wondering why you never seem to get ahead. Nothing is really happening. You see things that need to be done but just getting started seems so overwhelming.
If you struggle with procrastination that affects your life to a serious degree, and there are other symptoms like avoidance, rumination, and discouragement, you may be struggling with depression and could benefit from counseling to help you understand your behavior and options to overcome it.
That being said, we all procrastinate to some degree but must evaluate how this behavior affects our lives in the long term. You have heard the saying, “No pain. No gain”?
What have you lost through procrastinating? What have you gained other than the immediate relief of not having to do something you didn’t want to do?
Disciplining yourself to start and complete a task in a timely manner is paramount in the process of becoming a happier you and being successful. Overcoming procrastination takes a determination to change self-defeating behaviors and subconscious attitudes.
Procrastination produces an immediate sense of gratification. We know we have a deadline and feel pressure but experience a sense of relief when we have let ourselves off the hook. We need to remind ourselves the task didn’t go away and still needs our attention.
Here are a few suggestions to help you overcome procrastination and become accomplished at getting things done!
You need know what you want to accomplish so make a list. Prioritize what is most important. If it seems overwhelming, break it down into smaller measurable steps and check each step off as you complete it.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t say I’m going get out of debt. Let it look like this instead:
- List of regular monthly expenses and due dates like rent, utilities, gas, groceries, memberships, and haircut. . (check)
- List of long term expenses, due dates and interest rates (check)
- Calculate monthly net income and pay dates (check)
- Subtract totaled expenses from monthly net income (check)
- Determine which expenses will come from which check before it is overdue (check)
- Set aside a percentage of your income for emergencies (check)
- Determine how much discretionary income (what is left over after all your bills)
you will spend for things you want or need (check)
- Put any leftover income toward your highest interest debt until it is paid off (check)
- Apply leftover income to the next highest interest debt and continue until you are debt free (check)
You have successfully completed a monthly budget and made a plan to get out of debt. As you work your plan you will meet the long term goal of becoming debt free and eliminated the stress and anxiety due to bounced checks and late payments, and saved yourself of the grief from paying late and overdraft charges!
Apply this method to each task you need to accomplish. You have subconsciously rewarded yourself each time you check a portion that is completed! If you need to stop before the list is completed, you still accomplished part of your goal and have a clear measurable place to pick up and finish the job.
Make a list of goals you wish to accomplish each day prioritizing the importance of each task.
My list might look like this:
- Prayer and Bible study *
- Let the dogs out before leaving for work
- While at work plan for the next incentive party for level A students*
- Don’t forget to call in the milk order *
- Work on blog post after work*
- Heat leftovers for Gary and Shawn
- Go to evening prayer meeting
- Let the dogs out before bed
I may write in things I’ve done and check them off just to re-enforce the reward system and remind myself that there are many little things that need to be done but don’t make the list.
I have looked back over past lists and realized I completed so much more when I took the time to plan my day. I had purpose and a plan. Just writing it down seemed to provoke me to action and eliminate procrastination.
Carry a small notebook to record short and long term goals and when you have a moment break them down and plan them out.
No plan to win is a plan to fail!
Procrastination happens when decisions have to be made. Goal setting and list making take the indecisiveness out of the picture. You have already made a decision to do the task when you made your list! You are not operating in the moment. You have a plan and have already decided to work the plan. If you falter, that’s ok. We are fickle creatures. Just forgive yourself and pick right up where you left off. The victory of completed tasks brings confidence to continue to the next task.
If you feel the temptation to procrastinate, give yourself five minutes. Tell yourself, “I am giving myself five minutes then I am starting this task!” You have effectively given yourself a small reprieve instead of completely dismissing the task.
Another technique is to block your time. Give yourself a period of time. (5, 10, 20 minutes) Commit to fully applying yourself to the task you are prone to procrastinate on for that specific amount of time. You will have overcome the urge to put it off and given yourself the impetus to complete the task.
No Focus or Clearly Defined Goals
Procrastination
Becoming Overwhelmed
Lack of Self Discipline
Self-Defeating Psychology
Education and Skills
Motivation
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